The Coffin War

I am sorry for being two days late.  I've been busy freezing peaches and fermenting, not pickling, dill pickles and salsa.  Anyway, to make up for it, here is the story that started it all, the one that got me addicted to news from a century.  The story comes from an 1881 issue of the San Antonio Light.  Enjoy!

THE COFFIN WAR:
Once, in an isolated Nevada mining town a man died, and his brother ordered a handsome coffin from a man named Hotchkiss.  The mother-in-law of the dead man, not knowing this, ordered a coffin, too – a cheap one from a man named Sudberry.

Hotchkiss arrived to measure the body, followed a short time later by Sudberry who was mistaken as Hotchkiss’ assistant.

Hotchkiss returned in the afternoon with the coffin. It fit like a glove.  As he was taking care of the finishing touches and making the corpse comfortable, 

Sudberry arrived with his cheap, wooden coffin.

Sudberry saw that Hotchkiss’ coffin was not only a very handsome one, but he had arranged things so that the corpse looked proud of being dead.

Hotchkiss and Sudberry had words.

Sudberry blurted out:  “You’ve taken a mean, sneakin’ advantage of me.”

Hotchkiss:  “The coffin was ordered of me in a reg’lar way”

Sudberry:  “I’d like to furnish a coffin to bury you in.”

Hotchkiss:  “I’d rather live forever than be buried in one of your cheap coffins.”

Sudberry:  “I’ll cut down the price of coffins until you have to pack your blankets out of town.”

Hotchkiss:  “Cut away.”

Sudberry proceeded to cut his prices so low that he took all of Hotchkiss’ business so Hotchkiss cut his prices below Sudberry’s.

Sudberry cut again.

Hotchkiss matched the cut.

Then Sudberry began paying $1 for the privilege of undertaking a corpse and his business livened up.  The increase in the death rate in town was very noticable.  It became cheaper to die than to live.

Old Gudsey, who as a matter of economy, ate only one meal a day, took this occasion to get off and avoid the expense of even one meal per day.

Teddy O’Flynn, who had a partner he could not get along with, availed himself of this opportunity to dissolve the partnership and make $1.  His partner died very unnaturally.

Hotchkiss, too, began to offer a reward of $1 per corpse with a drink of whiskey thrown in.  Yankee Bill, a desperate character of the town, stopped before Hotchkiss’ shop with four dead Chinamen in a wagon wanting $4 and the four drinks.  When Hotchkiss objected because he didn’t like Chinamen, Bill said he could take them or be dumped in with them and taken to Sudberry’s.  Hotchkiss took the Chinamen and Yankee Bill collected his $4 and whiskey.

Now Hotchkiss had a large family dependent on him and could not go on this way.

Sudberry had no family at the time.  He had previously buried several members of his family, as it came right in time, and he did it at first cost. 

Hotchkiss approached Sudberry to discuss restoring the old prices.  Sudberry refused but offered to sell.  Hotchkiss bought.

Hotchkiss, in order to retrieve his losses, knowing it would be weeks before anyone else could deliver coffins to the remote town, put up his coffins to exorbitant prices.  There was a great falling off in the mortality that had prevailed.  None but the wealthy could afford to die – die decently, that is.